What else would I be doing but blogging at 1 am?! Well really I meant to start at the new year, but we can see how that turned out. Actually, if I were honest, I would admit that I wanted to begin when I went back to school last year, but alas, another project put aside for a time that would not interfere with my family. Apparently 1 am is ideal for not interrupting everyone else’s day, not so perfect for my sagging under eyes but hey, I’m making me time here right, and that was number one on my New Year’s Resolution list.
Ahhhhh, precious me time, my last bastion of personal sanctitude. It’s hard to say exactly when it started slipping slowly from my open hand. It was probably initiated by the birth of my oldest child and unraveled then blew away like a rogue kite very quickly after that. Picture a small child desperately chasing their precious lost kite string as the wind carries it further and further out of reach and you might have the idea. If some were to have explained to the high school version of myself that in less than 10 years I would be married, divorced, remarried, pregnant, going through a master’s program and raising five (yes, gasp, five) children, I think I may have just started a Prozac drip then, either that or I would have changed my DARE policy of “be alcohol and drug free” a whole lot sooner. Please don’t be mistaken, I would not trade the life I have now, but I might be willing to bargain for just a smudge more of those sanity saving moments that have fallen by the wayside. If only the members of my family unit had a little more perspective, like, a walk in the shoes kinda deal, they might be able to ward of my seemingly brief insane bursts of hostility.
The other people sharing my living space simply do not comprehend the mom position like they should. Let me briefly elaborate. My husband, (who I love and respect more than almost anyone else)decided that tonight, when the baby awoke for the third time in less than 3 hours since we’d both adjourned for the evening, he would turn off the baby monitor in the bedroom. He then proceeded to fall quickly back to sleep and failed to let me know the monitor was off. His common sensical explanation…..the baby crying (because of gas) was keeping him up. Really? How do you make that point to a sleep deprived individual and not end up with some sort of sharp object being waved at you?
So anyway, 1 am, you and I will be compadres for now. I will steal back my me time when there is no one clamoring for food, begging for attention and just generally sucking at various parts of me. Tomorrow has already arrived, and I will be carping the diem in just a few hours.